Process Reflection

LIPD Completion

This document is lengthy entry which responds to various inquires given by my main advisor, Jennifer English. This entry is complementary to the “incomplete” LIPD submitted March 19, 2010.

Why was it useful to do OP2 as another LIPD?

OP2 was another opportunity to cycle through the design process. The more practice I receive the better designer I will become. The more chances I get to design and re-evaluate, the more I get a grip for what is achievable and therefore improve my ability to set goals, plan action steps and manifest my deepest desires.

OP1B was not much of a design, there was no time line and no measurable goals.

What did you learn about yourself? 

I have a heard time staying focused on one task. I quickly hit the surface and then begin to slide around, struggling to penetrate deeper and get to the actual plan, the measurable steps.

What did you unlearn about yourself?

I have a hard time separating learning and unlearning, for in my mind they go hand in hand …. maybe the word unlearn is just not the right word to get me to think about what I learned to release, let go of. This output was the first one that I “just submitted”, maybe the most undone, and raw. Some sentences where still in the midst of being thought, there was no conclusion, no introduction. Yet I knew that turning it in was the best thing to do. When I thought of all that I had to do to “finish” (the point where I felt proud and complete) a long list came to mind. A list that felt daunting and unappealing,  a list of to-do’s that triggered me to shut my computer and do anything else, escape, avert. The irony is that guilt always followed, somewhere in my mind was a nagging reminder of all that awaits me.

What did you learn about creating a design? 

I am comfortable setting goals, making a site assessment and analysis, and evaluation (reflection). Where I seem to get caught is in the the actual design, the phase of creating measurable steps, the plan of how to achieve my goals. One aspect of the design phase that I feel most triggered by is the timeline. I get all twisted on … “How can I say when this will happen by” … “what if I don’t make it?” What I now realize after a 2hour Advising session with Jennifer, is that by setting a timeline, I can then reevaluate how it worked. By doing this it allows me to sharpen my skills of time management. But if I don’t ever set out a time frame, then I have no way of improving. I too learned that we cycle through the design phase many times. Ultimately it is the evaluation (reflection) that allows for growth and improved accuracy.

How did it feel to turn in OP2 the way I did? 

It was hard to turn in my output in the condition that it is in. And continues to be, as this journal entry is still a part

What blocks do I have? 

Analysis Paralysis — When creating past outputs, I often throw together whatever it is that I feel inspired to write about. Within a short amount of time I have many pieces to an output. At  this point I begin to feel frustrated, not knowing how to put it all together.

The second lapse of frustration occurs when once I’ve been working on an output for a lengthy amount of time, and still am not finished. Around this time that a feeling hopeless desperation sets in.

Quick and Dirty — Just doing it and not caring, for the sake of time.  I know that in Gaia University, much like Life, I am my own boss. No one is looking and I can do whatever I want. So I put in more time, hoping it will help me to get to THE place of completion.  I often think that if I take “just a little more” time  that perfectly the way I want it). I don’t know if I’ve ever set out to do something with the intention of  “good enough”. What usually occurs is that I run out of time and end up turning in what I have “so-far”. What I notice as interesting is that the product of “so-far” and “good enough” are equal to each other. SO …. more time does Not equal success.

Contraction Mode — After expansion mode, the stage of generating as many ideas as possible, also called brainstorming,  I find it hard to move into contraction mode. Blocked by the thought of losing and erasing all of my ideas.

Opportunity For Growth: Create a duplicate copy of expansion mode to ‘Save as’ . This duplicate copy ensures that my ideas are saved and present for me to retrieve as needed.

Aversion & Procrastination — A Strong desire to escapism my frustration or distress. I self announce that I will come back to it later, procrastinate. At that moment I allow myself to give into distractions and procrastinate till later. What I notice is that later doesn’t relieve my distress, if anything, it creates more distress and allows time for me to dwell.

Self Judgement — I have allowed myself to be fixated on criticism, both from myself as well as others. Although criticism can be a positive and useful tool to improve upon past mistakes, I  have allow self judgement to be ever present. What this means is rather than outputting in the present moment and saving criticism for the evaluation or proofing, I self criticize through the entire process of outputting.

What opportunities do I have to grow? 

Analysis Paralysis –  Time Management — Not taking months to complete each output. One strategy is to avoid hopping all over the place and leaving various loose ends. I can treat each element of my output,  as equally important, each a whole within itself, each having a beginning and end, each with a micro design.

Quick & Dirty –  Design Process — Rather than just writing on a whim, creating pieces and then figuring out how it all fits together, I design each output BEFORE I even begin its creation. Once in creation mode, I spend only a specified amount of time with each element of the output packet. If that proves to be unproductive and I begin feeling distressed by the ticking clock …. I can switch gears and prioritize each section of my output packet, working on one at a time. By consciously switching to tunnel vision each section would have a goal of its own and be treated as a entity. This intentional switch in perspective frees me to focus and releases all other to-dos, keeping in mind that I am creating a ROUGH DRAFT. The rough draft is then saved and left alone, meanwhile a duplicate copy is created a titled FINAL DRAFT. As I begin to recycle, I  begin this process using “Holoptic Goggles”, focusing on the integration of each element and how each section connects and flows together. Once I have achieved this  I read the output packet from beginning to end with NO notes. In the same sitting I cycle again with pen and paper, this time allowing myself to take any notes. Still sitting and within the same work session, I integrate these notes into my final draft. NOW, arrives the end. I first complete my Process Reflection and then submit my output for peer, self and advisor evaluations.

Contraction Mode –  Duplicate copy –  Save the expansion mode as a separate document, which means that I would have two parts to each brainstorming exercise. This duplicate copy ensures that my ideas are saved and present for me to retrieve as needed. This too allows me to contract with no limits and have freedom to dive into detail that could not be achieved with all of the clutter that is generated during expansion mode. The concept of saving various stages of my work is key to allowing me to move forward without fear of wasting any of my time spent.

Aversion & Procrastination –  In the heat of my distress I can look on Skype to see if anyone is available for ReEvaluation Co-Counseling, if not I can either solicit a session on GEL or ask other associates by sending Facebook messages or specific emails. As soon as I realize that I becoming distressed I can pause to decide what I want to do about it. This short pause allows me to be accountable and intentional in how I handle the situation, rather than allowing for blind reactions. I too can make a point to include this in each output reflection, taking not of what I tried, what worked and what didn’t. Allowing my distress to become an active experiment brings light into a dark place.

Self Judgement — Solicit Support — At the time when I begin proof reading my output packet, I can ask for other associates to peer review my ‘rough draft’  or use a little of my skill flex budget for advisor reviews. I can also solicit friends, family and community members, using some of my budget to pay for there time and allowing for face to face interaction. I see advantages to finding support both inside as well as outside the GU community, both having their strengths and weaknesses. This too is a subject to touch upon during my process reflection.

What opportunities do I have to become a more proficient designer? 

• Each and every output packet
• Creating Mid-Year Presentations & End-of-Year Presentations.
• Personal Projects (Soltera, Manifesting a Dream)
• Travel Adventures (Vacations & Festivals)
• Relationships (Community, Work Pace, Food, Blake, Intrapersonal)
• What I want to accomplish …  (Day, Week, Month, Year)

I become a more proficient designer with every practice, anything can be seen as an opportunity to cycle through the design process (goals, A&A, design, evaluation)

I can use pen & paper, my computer or a simple mental processes.

What are some strengths and weaknesses with OP2? 

Strengths — Mind Maps are easy to read and understand. Clearly defined sections, Table of Contents and Cover page. Process Reflection. Required OP elements are included, with the exception of the skill flex map. Poetic. Mixed media. Colorful and attractive. Output specification. Links to internet and blog.

Weaknesses –  Timetables are unrealistic and created with little thought to commitment. Sections have little interlacing or connected flow from one to the other, feels choppy as you move though the output. Some of the required elements lack completion and integration into the whole. Incomplete introduction and no conclusion. Lengthy output specification. relevance to other associates or global community. Missing links (for example the glossary, pdf) Blog is outdated and unrevised.

What  are some strengths and weaknesses with my personal character? 

Strengths — Able to see both detail and the whole. Versatile and able to quickly switch gears. See how things connect and thinks with analogies. Enjoying starting new projects. Sharp recall of past events and a slight photographic memory. Good habit of journalling and the inclination to self reflect. Always room for improvement and open to criticism without taking it personally. Spontaneous and flexible.

Weaknesses — Time management, follow through and completing what I start. Doing what I say, integrity of word. Focus for long periods of time. Easily distracted and strong desire to procrastinate. Quickly jumping mind and interest. Mastering of a trait “jack of many, not yet a master of some” Limits to detail. Spontaneous.

Click here to journey into Closing a Cycle

TABLE OF CONTENTS
* Output Specification *
* Pathway Reflection *
* Bienvenidos *
*The Present *
*Second Year*
* A Living Chapter *
* Upward Spiral *
* Process Reflection *

Pathway Reflection

Closing a Cycle is the second output of its kind. My first Learning Contract, now referred to as LIPD, was submitted in May 2010. It was my second output for Gaia University and ultimately the last, as I have not completed one since. After its completion I found myself in a whirl of change and the act of both living and documenting my life became a challenge. Closing a Cycle is an opportunity to both improve my design skills as well as release my intentions. My objective is to be honest. When I reach truth within myself, I can better communicate my needs to others and thus continue well along my pathway.

Upon completion you will leave with a tight grasp of “the plan”. Ironically, the only permanence in this life is change. Even the best plan or design can’t calculate for everything. Closing a Cycle is a walk through my aspirations, goals and design.

Click Here to Continue Closing a Cycle

TABLE OF CONTENTS
* Output Specification *
* Pathway Reflection *
* Bienvenidos *
*The Present *
*Second Year*
* A Living Chapter *
* Upward Spiral *
* Process Reflection *

A Living Chapter

A living chapter is the segment of life that is actively taking place. It is my day, today, sitting here, typing, looking out the window to see the first snow of the year, feeling cozy and productive while upholding my commitments. It is continuous composition, co-creation with whatever the universe is facing you with in the present moment.  The three following projects are abstract, existing as a thought or idea for which specific micro-projects will emerge from. These smaller micro-projects are physical, concrete and can be seen, touched or measured by any observer.

Soltera is the concept of being alone, regardless of where I am or what is taking place. This does not mean lonely or in isolation, rather the concept that I am always here, omnipresent. Outside everything can change, all of the logistics and details, yet I still exist as mind, body and spirit.

Cross-Cultural Communication is a project which emerged in Mexico as my need to balance two idioms, the main objective being to establish intimate connections. Speaking a foreign language, to learn new definitions and descriptions for the world around. Pushing outside of the familiar and on to extend mutual understanding. Yet in some instances retorting to my native language was needed to clarify, add depth or comprehend what is unfamiliar. Translation became an option to dance between what I know and that which I don’t.  A tool to use with caution, making sure not to become dependent or too comfortable.

 Soltera

  My first and most encompassing project is cultivating a healthy Zone 0. This zone, or area of use, is the one that moves and interacts with the entire landscape, there is no where it can’t go. Ironic is that Zone 0 can either be read as the number zero, or the letter O (Origin or Omni). Soltera is about meeting my need and cultivating my ability to sustain, regardless of everything else. Personal work is the never-ending task of feeding the self. Listening to the internal landscape and having responsibility (the ability to respond) to what is being communicated.

Cross-Cultural Communication

Cross-Cultural Communication is about pushing the edge, integrating and expanding and thus creating another paradigm. This project is all inclusive and based on the principle of relativity.

Manifesting Dreams

Is in its entirety what brought me here, to Mexico. It is an opportunity for me to act on a dream of fractal networking.  It is the first step towards clarifying my vision and making it a real. This project is about taking immediate action, immersing myself and intentional exploring. This project lives and is a constant quest of creating and taking next steps. Each day seeking out how to further manifest and design my future in Latin America.

Click Here To Continue Closing a Cycle

TABLE OF CONTENTS
* Output Specification *
* Pathway Reflection *
* Welcome. Bienvenidos*
*The Present*
*Second Year*
* A Living Chapter *
*Upward Spiral*

Second Year

When society operates on a particular schedule, 8am to 9pm, Monday through Friday, the general public has a pattern. This section is how I intend to balance the current system and that of my own making.

Where Am I, is two sentences that encapsulate my present location within Gaia University. The provided Glossary is a reference point for both Gaia terminology and unique interpretations of how I’ve come to describe my educational adventure.

Continuing on, you will find three calendars. The first is a view of my Second Year as a whole, from October through September 2011. The First Learning Cycle dives a bit deeper looking primarily at closing the cycle and yet initiating a new beginning. Mexico is the microlevel, the most detailed, and what is currently taking place, or in some cases has come to past. Rather than explaining each, I designed them to be easily understood and use a consist color coding throughout.  A written update compliments each calendar, providing  clarity to what has already changed.

Where Am I? 

 As an associate of Gaia Southeast
I am currently
in the First Quarter of my Second Year
& the first of two Learning Cycles.

I am working towards a BSc
Program: Integrative EcoSocial Design
Pathway Concentration: Participatory Community Design

 — See Glossary (pdf) –

Second Year

VUE Calendar created in South Bend, WA.
Learning Matrix 1/3

 I concentrate on closing the First Learning Cycle.

I detach from this particular time frame to Graduate “on time”.

After the first cycle I elect the best option for how to progress into the Second Cycle.

I apply for my Capstone Year when I am ready to commit.

First Cycle

VUE Calendar created in South Bend, WA.
 Learning Matrix 2/3

 The next three outputs (OP3-5) are active experiments of rapid prototyping.

I use the remaining first cycle to creatively work through my output distress.

I experiment, notice and document personal best practices.

I cultivate a mutually beneficial relationship to the output process.

Mexico

VUE Calendar created in South Bend, WA.
Learning Matrix 3/3

This map was created before I arrived in Mexico.

All above dates have come to pass.

Themes and Details may reappear in future outputs or projects

Meeting my needs is the inspiration for the following projects in A Living Chapter.

Click Here to Continue Closing a Cycle

TABLE OF CONTENTS
* Output Specification *
* Pathway Reflection *
* Bienvenidos *
*The Present *
*Second Year*
* A Living Chapter *
* Upward Spiral *
* Process Reflection *

Welcome. Bienvenidos

This output and the various inquiries I received during its creation have been a guiding light, an aid to clarify my vision and thus strengthen its power to manifest. The repetitive probing into my present and future intentions has pushed the edge of my immediate response, uncovering the story I tell myself, the script I actively compose to play each day. Instances when I felt tested in my ability to accurately describe the direction I head, pressured to present and even heated in my own emotions, feeling stuck in frustration or agitated by judgement. In the wake of such an instances journaling allows for self-dialogue, a quite opportunity for me write and thus transform my attention.

” There is nothing wrong looking to the future. In fact to recognize the interdependence of today and tomorrow and acknowledge our capacity to consciously time through travel, is an extremely powerful tool. When we are in courage to verbalize our desires, vividly visualize and wildly dream, we are supported. This is a privilege, a gift. “

-A journal snippet from ‘Plans, Goals and Aspirations’

Mexico City, October 29, 2010

Click Here to Continue Closing a Cycle

TABLE OF CONTENTS
* Output Specification *
* Pathway Reflection *
* Bienvenidos *
*The Present *
*Second Year*
* A Living Chapter *
* Upward Spiral *
* Process Reflection *

Present

Up till I began this piece, I had yet to look at long spans of time. For much of my life time elapsed according to the public education system and its use of the Gregorian Calendar. A year divided into academic quarters, three of which I was required to sit inside a classroom. Summer always felt like a space out of time. Free to move and play all day, it was my favorite season, full of travel and guaranteed to be an adventure. Unaware of other possibilities or alternate ways of living, I followed the adamant recommendations and adhered to what one “should” do.

The Restoration of Konaniskasi, a research paper I began in the winter of 2009,  was the inspiration that called me to set off, venture the path less traveled and pursue “My OWN Alternative Education”. This self-proclaimed titled transformed when I elected Gaia University as my guide and companion. Now a days I see time as art. It’s sense of being, a realm of infinite possibilities where paradigms shift and investments are based on their qualitative return. Amid magic, mystery and in the realm of quantum physics, I accept my place as Artisan. And strive to co-create that which is my Heart’s song.

Los Cinco Anos Pasado is spanish for the past five years. It is a glimpse of yesterday as seen through the lens of today. Before sailing into my intentions for the unknown, I value a moment to pause and turn around, to look at where I’ve been and briefly highlight that which lingers at the forefront of my memory. Why? Simply because the bliss then is now a longing.

Los Cinco Anos Proximos translates as the next five years. Inspired by an uncertain future and curious about my ability to accurately target my desires, set goals and ultimately hold myself accountable, I began drawing and writing. Immersed in a whim of creative exploration, this stands as an active experiment of yesterday and today.

A Student of Gaia is a poetic mantra. Carefully written in present active voice it is similar to an affirmation, only much longer. Its origin dates back to Output 1B, where it originally appeared in the Eco-Social chapter. In times of change and uncertainty, I have each day, each moment arising and passing. As the world moves inside and out with the fluidity of osmosis, each instant is my opportunity to conspire reality.

 

Los Cinco Años Pasado

This calendar of reflection uses acronyms and tags to display thoughts as nuggets, pieces of condensed information or bits that I carry along the journey towards tomorrow. Though much of this exercise was for my own process, a chance to feel what is relevant and alive, it too is useful to share. It is a common reference point to the question why. Why do I want to learn this, what is propelling me forward?

- Made in Mexico City, October 20, 2010.

Notice that each block filled or outlined in color, corresponds to that season’s color. My reason for doing so was to see if a pattern emerged, whether there exist consistency or rhythm to the memories of my past. A block of color symbolize an event, a period defined by a clear beginning and end. Whereas a colored outline represents an experience or idea which is open-ended and needs attention.

Los Cinco Años Proximos.

 

South Bend, WA. - October 3, 2010

Today’s  Aspiration

In times of change and uncertainty, I have each day, every moment. As the world moves inside and out with the fluidity of osmosis, each instant is my opportunity to conspire reality.

A Student of Gaia

I Speak many Languages
Express with Eloquence

Always Open

with Honesty to myself and others
I Give my Gift
The Art of my Loving Attention

I appreciate a Free-lance Schedule,
easy access to Nature with all its Weird & Wild
The agility of self sufficiency
and the strength of community

I change pace with a deep breath
Relax to Observe & Consciously interact
a Friend to All Species
a Woman of Power

With a quite practiced mind
I Clear & Cleanse myself as a Vessel
A conductor for information to pass through

I see Abundance
Implore Creativity
and plant Seeds to cultivate a Regenerate culture

I Reach for inner vision & understand simplicity.
Feed from my roots & walk as guardian of the earth.

I find equilibrium and rhythm
as I Dance harmoniously within life’s cycles
An authentic ceremony
A lively Celebration
A Pause to acknowledge Gratitude

I reflect with awareness
Learn though experience, immersion, inquiry and repetition
a student of Gaia
a disciple unto herself

 

Click Here to Continue Closing a Cycle

TABLE OF CONTENTS
* Output Specification *
* Pathway Reflection *
* Bienvenidos *
*The Present *
*Second Year*
* A Living Chapter *
* Upward Spiral *
* Process Reflection *

Upward Spiral

I began composing this output at my parents house in South Bend Washington, the small town where I grew up and the place I’ve been living intermittently since June 2009. I had just returned from a three week stay in Tennessee and ten days before departing on my longest stint abroad, thus far. Inspired and excited to get back in Gaia mode, yet slightly overwhelmed by the mountain of to-do’s I had self prescribed, bits and pieces of this output were created. I thought that ten days of  ”unscheduled” time seemed a sufficient amount to begin and finish an output packet, however that estimation proved otherwise.

I landed in Mexico City October 8th, on a one-way ticket from Seattle. With no specific departure date, nor return flight, all I knew was that I’d be back in the Northwest to spend Christmas with my family. With two months time and three scheduled events, I again had much unscheduled for my stay in Mexico. Some of that time, about a week or so, I again opened my computer to work this output. There more bits and pieces came to surface but ultimately was left incomplete.

Now back in South Bend, four months after initiating this process and having various conversations with Jennifer, my advisor, I have decided to let go. An active experiment has intervened, thankfully, to assist me in submitting this output. The experiment is this; I have 3 hours total to “work” on this output, and not a second more. Regardless of what takes place during that time (checking emails, phone calls, smoking cigarettes, etc…) I will submit this output, regardless of what condition it is in! At this exact moment I have 1 hour and 34 minutes remaining and I still have to much to-do. Therefore this LIPD represents the current condition

Resources

WordPress.com

Click here to journey into the Process Reflection

TABLE OF CONTENTS
* Output Specification *
* Pathway Reflection *
* Bienvenidos *
*The Present *
*Second Year*
* A Living Chapter *
* Upward Spiral *
* Process Reflection *

Upward Spiral

This is the upward spiral, the point where I use my present understanding to propel me upwards. Transcending from where I am now and moving to where I want to be. Like a spiral there is infinite potential for growth. Once October comes I will have arrived at The Farm having completed my Learning Review, the last output of the year, given my end-of-year presentation and be headed for Mexico. I will be here again. Integrating the past, assessing the present, and redesigning the future. Of course …. (laughing) I never have to wait three months before cycling upwards. Below is a moment of process reflection.

Design

Output Intentions -

What do I want to explore?
How can I improve my tool belt?
What is sustainable?

Eco-Social

I want to learn many languages.
to effectively share and exchange in all mediums
- formally & informally, directly & indirectly.
I want to deeply observe, listen, & consciously interact
with all species – living and non.
To acknowledge & create abundance
within our living and moving space.

I must clear my vessel so as to conduct information
and facilitate its flow.
Quite my mind so as to hear what is being said,
I want to reach for my inner vision & understand its simplicity.

I will live in my place as guardian & steward.
be Sustainable and feed from my roots
I will dance harmoniously within life’s cycles.

I seek by living in spirit
and tapping into my roots
through self-reflection,
our Elders, and my availability to our Children and Youth
I learn by doing, immersion, inquiry and integration