Process Reflection
LIPD Completion
This document is lengthy entry which responds to various inquires given by my main advisor, Jennifer English. This entry is complementary to the “incomplete” LIPD submitted March 19, 2010.
Why was it useful to do OP2 as another LIPD?
OP2 was another opportunity to cycle through the design process. The more practice I receive the better designer I will become. The more chances I get to design and re-evaluate, the more I get a grip for what is achievable and therefore improve my ability to set goals, plan action steps and manifest my deepest desires.
OP1B was not much of a design, there was no time line and no measurable goals.
What did you learn about yourself?
I have a heard time staying focused on one task. I quickly hit the surface and then begin to slide around, struggling to penetrate deeper and get to the actual plan, the measurable steps.
What did you unlearn about yourself?
I have a hard time separating learning and unlearning, for in my mind they go hand in hand …. maybe the word unlearn is just not the right word to get me to think about what I learned to release, let go of. This output was the first one that I “just submitted”, maybe the most undone, and raw. Some sentences where still in the midst of being thought, there was no conclusion, no introduction. Yet I knew that turning it in was the best thing to do. When I thought of all that I had to do to “finish” (the point where I felt proud and complete) a long list came to mind. A list that felt daunting and unappealing, a list of to-do’s that triggered me to shut my computer and do anything else, escape, avert. The irony is that guilt always followed, somewhere in my mind was a nagging reminder of all that awaits me.
What did you learn about creating a design?
I am comfortable setting goals, making a site assessment and analysis, and evaluation (reflection). Where I seem to get caught is in the the actual design, the phase of creating measurable steps, the plan of how to achieve my goals. One aspect of the design phase that I feel most triggered by is the timeline. I get all twisted on … “How can I say when this will happen by” … “what if I don’t make it?” What I now realize after a 2hour Advising session with Jennifer, is that by setting a timeline, I can then reevaluate how it worked. By doing this it allows me to sharpen my skills of time management. But if I don’t ever set out a time frame, then I have no way of improving. I too learned that we cycle through the design phase many times. Ultimately it is the evaluation (reflection) that allows for growth and improved accuracy.
How did it feel to turn in OP2 the way I did?
It was hard to turn in my output in the condition that it is in. And continues to be, as this journal entry is still a part
What blocks do I have?
Analysis Paralysis — When creating past outputs, I often throw together whatever it is that I feel inspired to write about. Within a short amount of time I have many pieces to an output. At this point I begin to feel frustrated, not knowing how to put it all together.
The second lapse of frustration occurs when once I’ve been working on an output for a lengthy amount of time, and still am not finished. Around this time that a feeling hopeless desperation sets in.
Quick and Dirty — Just doing it and not caring, for the sake of time. I know that in Gaia University, much like Life, I am my own boss. No one is looking and I can do whatever I want. So I put in more time, hoping it will help me to get to THE place of completion. I often think that if I take “just a little more” time that perfectly the way I want it). I don’t know if I’ve ever set out to do something with the intention of “good enough”. What usually occurs is that I run out of time and end up turning in what I have “so-far”. What I notice as interesting is that the product of “so-far” and “good enough” are equal to each other. SO …. more time does Not equal success.
Contraction Mode — After expansion mode, the stage of generating as many ideas as possible, also called brainstorming, I find it hard to move into contraction mode. Blocked by the thought of losing and erasing all of my ideas.
Opportunity For Growth: Create a duplicate copy of expansion mode to ‘Save as’ . This duplicate copy ensures that my ideas are saved and present for me to retrieve as needed.
Aversion & Procrastination — A Strong desire to escapism my frustration or distress. I self announce that I will come back to it later, procrastinate. At that moment I allow myself to give into distractions and procrastinate till later. What I notice is that later doesn’t relieve my distress, if anything, it creates more distress and allows time for me to dwell.
Self Judgement — I have allowed myself to be fixated on criticism, both from myself as well as others. Although criticism can be a positive and useful tool to improve upon past mistakes, I have allow self judgement to be ever present. What this means is rather than outputting in the present moment and saving criticism for the evaluation or proofing, I self criticize through the entire process of outputting.
What opportunities do I have to grow?
Analysis Paralysis – Time Management — Not taking months to complete each output. One strategy is to avoid hopping all over the place and leaving various loose ends. I can treat each element of my output, as equally important, each a whole within itself, each having a beginning and end, each with a micro design.
Quick & Dirty – Design Process — Rather than just writing on a whim, creating pieces and then figuring out how it all fits together, I design each output BEFORE I even begin its creation. Once in creation mode, I spend only a specified amount of time with each element of the output packet. If that proves to be unproductive and I begin feeling distressed by the ticking clock …. I can switch gears and prioritize each section of my output packet, working on one at a time. By consciously switching to tunnel vision each section would have a goal of its own and be treated as a entity. This intentional switch in perspective frees me to focus and releases all other to-dos, keeping in mind that I am creating a ROUGH DRAFT. The rough draft is then saved and left alone, meanwhile a duplicate copy is created a titled FINAL DRAFT. As I begin to recycle, I begin this process using “Holoptic Goggles”, focusing on the integration of each element and how each section connects and flows together. Once I have achieved this I read the output packet from beginning to end with NO notes. In the same sitting I cycle again with pen and paper, this time allowing myself to take any notes. Still sitting and within the same work session, I integrate these notes into my final draft. NOW, arrives the end. I first complete my Process Reflection and then submit my output for peer, self and advisor evaluations.
Contraction Mode – Duplicate copy – Save the expansion mode as a separate document, which means that I would have two parts to each brainstorming exercise. This duplicate copy ensures that my ideas are saved and present for me to retrieve as needed. This too allows me to contract with no limits and have freedom to dive into detail that could not be achieved with all of the clutter that is generated during expansion mode. The concept of saving various stages of my work is key to allowing me to move forward without fear of wasting any of my time spent.
Aversion & Procrastination – In the heat of my distress I can look on Skype to see if anyone is available for ReEvaluation Co-Counseling, if not I can either solicit a session on GEL or ask other associates by sending Facebook messages or specific emails. As soon as I realize that I becoming distressed I can pause to decide what I want to do about it. This short pause allows me to be accountable and intentional in how I handle the situation, rather than allowing for blind reactions. I too can make a point to include this in each output reflection, taking not of what I tried, what worked and what didn’t. Allowing my distress to become an active experiment brings light into a dark place.
Self Judgement — Solicit Support — At the time when I begin proof reading my output packet, I can ask for other associates to peer review my ‘rough draft’ or use a little of my skill flex budget for advisor reviews. I can also solicit friends, family and community members, using some of my budget to pay for there time and allowing for face to face interaction. I see advantages to finding support both inside as well as outside the GU community, both having their strengths and weaknesses. This too is a subject to touch upon during my process reflection.
What opportunities do I have to become a more proficient designer?
- Each and every output packet
- Creating Mid-Year Presentations & End-of-Year Presentations.
- Personal Projects (Soltera, Manifesting a Dream)
- Travel Adventures (Vacations & Festivals)
- Relationships (Community, Work Pace, Food, Blake, Intrapersonal)
- What I want to accomplish … (Day, Week, Month, Year)
I become a more proficient designer with every practice, anything can be seen as an opportunity to cycle through the design process (goals, A&A, design, evaluation)
I can use pen & paper, my computer or a simple mental processes.
What are some strengths and weaknesses with OP2?
Strengths — Mind Maps are easy to read and understand. Clearly defined sections, Table of Contents and Cover page. Process Reflection. Required OP elements are included, with the exception of the skill flex map. Poetic. Mixed media. Colorful and attractive. Output specification. Links to internet and blog.
Weaknesses – Timetables are unrealistic and created with little thought to commitment. Sections have little interlacing or connected flow from one to the other, feels choppy as you move though the output. Some of the required elements lack completion and integration into the whole. Incomplete introduction and no conclusion. Lengthy output specification. relevance to other associates or global community. Missing links (for example the glossary, pdf) Blog is outdated and unrevised.
What are some strengths and weaknesses with my personal character?
Strengths — Able to see both detail and the whole. Versatile and able to quickly switch gears. See how things connect and thinks with analogies. Enjoying starting new projects. Sharp recall of past events and a slight photographic memory. Good habit of journalling and the inclination to self reflect. Always room for improvement and open to criticism without taking it personally. Spontaneous and flexible.
Weaknesses — Time management, follow through and completing what I start. Doing what I say, integrity of word. Focus for long periods of time. Easily distracted and strong desire to procrastinate. Quickly jumping mind and interest. Mastering of a trait “jack of many, not yet a master of some” Limits to detail. Spontaneous.
Click here to journey into Closing a Cycle
TABLE OF CONTENTS
* Output Specification *
* Pathway Reflection *
* Bienvenidos *
*The Present *
*Second Year*
* A Living Chapter *
* Upward Spiral *
* Process Reflection *
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